Coparenting is Hard

Coparenting is hard—especially when the original relationship between parents ended in pain, conflict, or unresolved hurt. In this video, we explore why coparenting can feel so overwhelming and what it actually requires to do it well. We talk about the importance of healing the initial breakup between parents, even when reconciliation isn’t possible. Without that healing, conflict often continues through the children. Self-regulation during conflict becomes essential—not just to avoid blowups, but to model emotional responsibility and stability for kids. This conversation also addresses the historical and social realities shaping African Descendants of Slavery (ADOS) relationships, including the ongoing impact of slavery, racism, and discrimination on intimacy, trust, and family structure. These forces don’t disappear when relationships end—they often intensify during coparenting. We examine parallel parenting as an option, including its limits and challenges, and clarify what the actual “parenting assignment” is after separation. Coparenting isn’t about winning, controlling, or being right—it’s about protecting children from adult conflict and showing up with consistency, maturity, and accountability. This video is for parents who want to do better, even when the situation is complicated, painful, or unfair.