“I was just gonna hit one joint…”
That’s how Clayton tells it. He wasn’t trying to fall off. I wasn’t looking to lose everything. He just wanted to take the edge off.
But one turned into three. Then five. What started as a half ounce a week became a full ounce to function. The smoke didn’t just fill his lungs; it began to fill the space where his life used to be.
From Fridays to Every Day
Clayton had rules. He told himself he’d only drink on Fridays — end the week with a cold one, relax a little.
That was the plan. Now it’s every day, from the moment his eyes open to the minute they close. No job. No structure. Just bottles, blunts, and the loop that won’t stop spinning.
“I try to stop when things get too heavy,” he says. “But I can’t do it solo.”
Cravings, Chaos, and Consequences
Clayton’s not clueless. He knows what this is costing him.
He craves weed hard when life hits him—stress, emotions, regret, pressure—all of it triggers the urge. And instead of facing it, he drowns it. In smoke. In liquor. In the streets.
He’s not just getting high. He’s avoiding life.
The Father He Wants to Be
Clayton has a 4-month-old baby. A little one waiting to be held, guided, and loved. But the truth? He’s not showing up. Not yet.
“I know I ain’t doing what I’m supposed to as a father,” he admits. That sentence carries more pain than any fight ever could.
He used to love going to the park, spending time with family, and getting online with his friends to play Xbox. Now, all of that feels far away—buried under smoke and silence.
The Streets Don’t Offer Peace
Most days, Clayton is out in the streets. Looking for weed and hitting dispensaries and finding whoever’s holding. That routine has him in danger constantly, surrounded by crime, by chaos, by people who don’t care if he makes it to tomorrow.
He admits to driving while high. His life and others ' hang in the balance. But when the cravings hit, survival logic disappears.
Toxic Ties, Numbed-Out Love
Relationships? They’re a mess. Clayton knows it, but the weed and alcohol keep him numb. “I can’t deal with the drama when I’m high,” he says. “And I’m always high.”
So nothing gets better. It just simmers in the background, waiting to boil over.
Still High, Still Here
Clayton isn’t writing a comeback story. He’s not preaching recovery. He’s just being real.
This is what it looks like when addiction wraps itself around someone’s life and squeezes.
And still—He’s here. Breathing. Talking and admitting the truth.
That alone? It might be the first step toward change.
If you or someone you know is struggling with substance use, know this: you are not alone. Help is out there. And the first move? Is speaking the truth.