There’s a common misconception that freedom means doing whatever we want. But beneath that idea lies a hidden trap, a force that often masquerades as empowerment, yet quietly keeps us stuck. That force is self-will.
At first glance, self-will appears to be a form of strength. It’s the voice inside that says, “I know what I want, and I’m going after it.” It feels decisive, driven, and bold. But look closer, and you’ll see something more complicated: a pattern of action that prioritizes desire over discernment, impulse over insight, and stubbornness over wisdom.
Self-will is not the same as free will. Free will is our gift, the ability to choose, to reflect, to respond rather than react. We can think critically to examine what is right and what leads to growth. Self-will, by contrast, is the tendency to follow our desires without questioning them further. It resists being questioned. It resents guidance. It insists on its way, not because it has thought things through, but because it can’t bear the feeling of being denied.
This kind of inner force may accomplish things, but at a cost. It strains relationships. It blocks growth. It confuses motion with meaning. A person driven by self-will may feel powerful in the moment, but they are often running from fear, discomfort, or vulnerability. And because self-will avoids reflection, it repeats the same patterns over and over, stuck in a loop, calling it freedom.
In truth, freedom is not the ability to do whatever we want. It’s the ability to do what is right, even when we don’t want to. It’s the discipline to pause, to listen, to ask: Is this good for me? Is this aligned with my values? Who else does this affect?
When we let go of self-will, we don’t become weak; we become free. We stop being pulled around by every craving or fear. We begin to live with clarity, compassion, and a sense of purpose.
So the next time you find yourself pushing hard to get your way, ask yourself: Is this true freedom? Or is it just self-will in disguise? The difference matters. One leads to more profound peace. The other, no matter how loud or proud, often leads us in circles.
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