In both my personal life and my work as a psychotherapist, I’ve noticed a recurring theme: unhappy people are often alienated from their potential.

This alienation isn’t always dramatic. It can be as simple as the inability to create a plan and see it through, or the struggle to self-govern consistently. In essence, what’s often missing in the lives of unhappy people is freedom, not just freedom from external obstacles, but the deeper, more empowering freedom to.

Many people pursue happiness by trying to liberate themselves from what they believe is holding them back. However, they overlook the other half of freedom: the freedom to choose differently, to change one's perspective, and to create meaning. Without this capacity, freedom remains partial and superficial.

Here’s the problem: our freedom is directly limited by our consciousness of what’s possible. If you have 100 options but can only see two, you’re not truly free—you’re confined by your awareness. So when we say “happiness is freedom,” we have to go deeper. It’s not just freedom from pain, rules, or routine—it’s also the freedom to think clearly, choose wisely, and live meaningfully.

When things happen in life, we assign meaning. That’s our power—and our responsibility. We are all meaning-makers. The more skillfully we create and apply constructive meanings to the events in our lives, the greater our capacity for happiness.

So what does it mean to live well?

It means more than just surviving or getting by. It means solving problems creatively. It means creating art, telling stories, and engaging with profound, timeless ideas like honesty, open-mindedness, and a willingness to learn. It means cultivating stable relationships with ourselves and with others. It means expanding our freedom to act, think, and love with intention.

The unhappy are not broken. They are, more often, disconnected from their inner potential, from their power to choose, and from their ability to create meaning. Help them reconnect, and happiness follows.